How my brain works

My fiancé complains I never remember anything that she tells me, like the friends she’s meeting, where she’s going, important dates, errands I need to run, etc.  Sometimes I honestly don’t even recall ever hearing it, but most of the time I’ve legitimately forgotten.  I can’t remember, not because I don’t care, but because I actually can’t remember.  I never argue; I’m actually a pretty forgetful person.

I can’t remember how many times I’ve misplaced my keys, wallet or even wandered into a room and had no idea why I was there.  I’ve lost countless pairs of gloves, shown up at an airport without my passport, left my wallet on a plane and my Kindle on a train.  I used to get frustrated looking for things, but now I’ve grown more accepting that I’m just forgetful.  As far as I can remember, I’ve always been like this.  My memory sometimes eludes me in the silliest situations, so I rely on routines.

I could never really learn to read Chinese no matter how hard I tried and wanted to.  In fight-or-flight moments, I can force my memory to serve me on exams, but a week later I won’t be able to recall any questions or the material.  I can’t really remember streets or names of people very well either.

I rely a lot on first principles and tend to reason out things.  I rely on my calendar instead of my memory.  I rely on knowing how to find an answer instead of memorizing answers.  The most important or urgent things always rise to top-of-mind and the less important things usually sink lower.  I think my lack of memory actually helps me compartmentalize and prioritize information.    I know that if a task is important and quick, I do it right away otherwise it might never get done.  I’ve learned how my memory works and learned to cope.

I believe this lack of memory has had some really interesting effects on my personality.  I don’t get too attached to ideas, I’m willing to re-evaluate with the new information at hand, sometimes this manifests itself as being right a lot or forces me to be pragmatic instead of stubbornly hard-headed.   Since I know I’m forgetful, I’m also very understanding of others, especially they forget.  It also means I treat things with high urgency if deemed important, otherwise I might forget to do it!   

At this point, I’ve stopped fretting and I’ve grown to look past the problems associated with my forgetfulness and appreciate the positive benefits it’s had on me.  Honestly, I forget if I ever had a good memory, to begin with.